Understanding Emotions: The First Step Toward Regulation
At Lumina International School, we believe that emotional intelligence is not something to be taught in isolation — it’s something children build through real experiences, one feeling at a time.
From Control to Understanding
❌ We don’t need children to control their emotions.
✅ We need them to understand them.
A few days ago, I observed a child clench his fists, his eyes filling with tears.
He wasn’t angry at anyone.
He was angry with himself.
Something hadn’t worked — a tower that kept falling, a puzzle piece that wouldn’t fit, a moment of “I can’t.”
Around him, adults moved gently, offering help, encouragement, distraction.
But what he needed wasn’t to be soothed.
He needed to be understood.
What Happens in the Brain
In moments like this, the brain is doing complex work.
It’s learning to tolerate discomfort, to make sense of error, to transform emotion into strategy.
That’s how emotional regulation truly begins — not by suppressing feelings, but by naming them and learning from them.
Each emotion plays a role in a child’s growth:
Anger protects boundaries and pushes for change.
Sadness slows thinking, allowing reflection and empathy.
Joy strengthens memory and fuels motivation.
When we rush to calm, we interrupt that process.
When we pause to understand, we teach children how to think — not just how to behave.
Connected, Not Just Calm
The goal isn’t a calm child.
It’s a connected one.
When children feel seen and understood, their emotional world becomes a foundation for curiosity, resilience, and empathy — qualities that shape lifelong learners.
💭 What if we stopped seeing emotions as reactions to manage, and started seeing them as messages to decode?